Rush
by Kat Reguba
Summary: Booth reflects on his Christmas kiss with Bones.


**Author's Note: Found this while going through my hard drive the other day. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to their people. The song is Rush by Ferras. I don't own that either.**

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><p>With a quiet groan Special Agent Seeley Booth slumped against the closed door of his apartment. Despite the fact that there had been no field cases in almost two weeks, it had been close to nine o'clock when he'd finally managed to leave the Hoover Building. Usually Booth was happy when there were no cases; it meant that no one was being murdered, and that the law remained unbroken. But this week had been nothing less than hellish, with Cullen taking out his anger on him, and a mountain of paperwork that had built up from the past month.<p>

_*How does Bones deal with these late night shifts?*_ Booth wondered as he walked wearily down the hall, slowly stripping off his clothes as he went, not caring about where they fell. He would pick them up tomorrow, when he felt less like a zombie. Now down to nothing but his boxers, the Special Agent slipped into bed, offering up a quick prayer that sleep would come swiftly. Tonight however, his prayers were not answered.

Slowly the minutes ticked by as his thoughts drifted of their own accord, back over the past few months. Trying to remember how exactly he'd managed to piss Cullen off this morning with a simple 'hello'. The fact that he had been the one in the break room when the coffee machine broke didn't mean he was the one who broke it. Next to his bed the clock radio was softly playing, and Booth was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear it. The first verse hit him like a bullet to the chest though, and had the Special Agent listening carefully.

_I kissed your sweet lips_

_I floated so high_

_Your eyes looked at mine_

_The world froze in time_

_What is this feeling?_

_I am on cloud nine_

_Guess I'm still reeling_

_From your body next to mine_

Instantly his mind flew back to Christmas, and to the kiss he and Bones had shared under the mistletoe. Thanks to one corporate defense lawyer who had decided that her 'puckish' side needed a little entertainment. And at the expense of a certain forensic anthropologist and her partner no less. Seeley didn't know whether to kill or kiss Caroline for that move. Surely someone so influential could find something better to do with her time than screw with people's lives. Or at the very least, she could not screw with _his_ life. Never, in all his thirty-five years, had something unsettled him as badly as that kiss. It had been over a month since it had happened, and he still had trouble focusing. Not even being a sniper had done this, stolen his sleep and invaded his mind.

_It's a rush I can't explain_

_Like you shot something crazy into my veins_

_And I'm ten feet off the ground_

_And I don't want to come down_

_Don't want to come down_

He realized though that the song was true. Whatever this… this thing was, he liked it. Ever since their kiss, the Special Agent had given real thought to a life with Bones. _*Real thought? Way to sugarcoat it.*_ Okay fine. So maybe he'd fantasized about the good doctor a few times. After all, he was a single red-blooded guy. And she was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen. Surely something that felt this good wasn't bad, right? _*Whoa there, Seel. People don't masturbate while thinking about their partner. Remember the line? The line __**you**__ drew between the two of you?*_ Oh, so _now_ his conscience wanted to talk. Where had it been when he'd been kissing Bones? Absolutely silent, that's where it had been.

_I know you're sleeping_

_I wish you were right here_

'_Cause my bed's so empty_

_I'd hold you so close dear_

_And I sang my song to you_

_Your smile was priceless_

_What else can I do?_

_I'm a junkie over you_

He constantly worried about her, wondered if she'd eaten at least once that day, if she'd managed to get out of the lab at a decent hour. Probably not, since the woman apparently had no concept of nine-to-five. _*Why should I only work then, when I can come in earlier and accomplish more?*_ She'd asked him once when he tried to explain the meaning.

_It's a rush I can't explain_

_Like you shot something crazy into my veins_

_And I'm ten feet off the ground_

_And I don't want to come down_

_Is it me, or is everything spinning_

_I'm wide awake but I must be dreaming_

_It's like you're some kind of drug_

_Try to catch my breath_

_And see if I'm still breathing_

_Touch my heart and make sure it's beating_

_It's like I'm falling in love_

Love? Was that what this was? No, this wasn't love, this was something more. He'd loved Rebecca; and at one point maybe had loved Cam. Once that particular flame had died, they'd gone on to live normal live, able to remain friends no matter their past. But with Bones he knew it'd be different, that there would be no 'normal life' for them after. The mere thought of not having her in his life was one of his biggest fears.

_It's a rush I can't explain_

_Like you shot something crazy into my veins_

_And I'm ten feet off the ground._

_And I don't, no I don't, no, don't want to come down_

_Don't want to come down_

_Gonna come down_

He didn't want to come down from the emotional high she'd put him on, but for the sake of their partnership, he had to. The next time they met would be slightly awkward, then everything would return to normal. In order to keep her in his life, he had to push her away, staunchly maintaining the line. The line that would ultimately lead him to a broken heart.

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><p><strong>Reviews are love!<strong>


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